VULNERABILITY to Create, VULNERABILITY to Connect, VULNERABILITY to Change.

There has been a shift happening in our lives. If you are reading this, old or young, man or woman, white or black – you are sure to be going through a shift of life.

Vulnerability is something we shy away from, some of us more than others.  As we grow into adults we become more sensitive, to the insensitive world we live in. We notice the way people react to our vulnerabilities. We become afraid, that if we allow ourselves to seem weak, people will take advantage of us. We build emotional and psychological walls, we seclude our lives – never to be willingly hurt again. Behind our walls we live almost in secret… never to show our truest, deepest selves.

Each time we let someone in, we hope and wish – that this time will be different. Sometimes it is – but a lot of times, it is not. We walk around with our shields. We go to sleep with our armor. We live in superficial relationships to protect ourselves from our many fears - fears of judgement, fears of abandonment, fears of failure.

It has taken a long time for us to see how hard it is to live behind these walls. We start to see we need more than just safety and comfort. We need to feel. We crave to feel, deeply and truly.  With this realization, we start to seek. Seek for vulnerability somewhere… where someone… will accept us for who we truly are.

Seeking may take us down different paths, seeking may take us to discover different things about ourselves, it may lead us to discover things about other people, and it may lead us to do things we wouldn’t normally do. Our quest will lead us to live differently than those who are not seeking.

Vulnerability to Create.

One of the deepest forms of expression is creation. When a human being creates something with a pure and open heart, the true expression of self is revealed. In today’s modern society, the examples are endless. Most of us do it at one time or another – from the smallest ways, to the greatest ways. Creating can be painting a picture, writing a story, getting lost in a journal, creating beauty on yourself, creating beauty in others, hair, makeup, music, creating food, designing a home, painting a car, crafts, decorating a room, creating a video, posting creative photos, the list goes on and on.

The truth is however- creating can be simple. Sharing it is NOT. Sharing our creativity and allowing others to see our creation, leaves us vulnerable and at risk. The risk of not being appreciated, the risk of being made fun of, the risk of feeling different and separated from the others.  We must stand in the face of these risks. In these times, where we use our creativity to allow us to be vulnerable, we get to express our inner most beauty – and we give others permission to do the same thing.

One thing is clear, those who are seeking must create and express. Keeping the creative energy within will ultimately suffocate life. Breath in all of your excellence, and breath out all of your creativity with the world. Give others permission to do the same.

Vulnerability to Connect.

Hundreds of years ago, we lived in villages or small communities. We had leaders, we had helpers, we had a group of people who all contributed to the village. We needed the person who hunted, we needed the person who built the homes, we needed the person who knew about medicines and remedies, we needed the person who made the clothes. We all had a purpose, and we were all needed for the well-being of the community. We all had connection.

Today, we do not NEED anyone. Our automated society has made us self-reliant, and given us many freedoms. No one has to wait around for John to fetch dinner for the village, so that’s great.  But our self-reliance has also given us separation. Social media worlds create a façade of connection. But it rarely plays out in our real lives. We live alone, in single homes, in single rooms, driving in our single cars, sitting in our single offices, attached to our single devices. Solitary. Lonely. Confined.

Many people will label themselves “anti-social” – gladly accepting this way of life. We must wake up. Humans are social beings. We are neurologically wired for connection. We need it in order to be the most psychologically, and emotionally, balanced. Look around us at the endless cases of anxiety, and depression that plague so many people, from small children to the elderly. Our lack of connection is no coincidence to this problem. People are ridden with fear, worry, and despair.

Lets find a new way to live – a real way to connect.

Connection is sought and built. We have to place effort in seeking meaningful connections. One of the best ways is to find hobbies or interests, and then find groups of people who share the same hobbies and interests. In sharing of something common – baseball, music, hiking – we are able to build connection of substance – not superficiality.

Once we find the people, we must work to build the connection for long-term. Many times we want to sit in bed, scroll on our phones in silence – instead of picking up the phone to call someone we recently met. Talking has become so hard. How looney is that?! We have to force ourselves to make that call, set that lunch date, mail that card, go to that event, and stop by for a visit. Or do we really want to live out the rest of our time detached? NO – we cannot waste this gift of time, for we never know just how much of it we truly have left.

Vulnerability to Change.

In order to grow, one must change. In order to change, one must grow. The problem is, change can be uncomfortable, and even painful. There are life changes that bring great joys: getting married, having a baby, getting accepted to a dream school. There are life changes that feel unbearable: losing a loved one, being diagnosed with a disease, failing in a business. It feels like it’s going to be the end of us. But most often, it is just the beginning – of the new person we are to become.

Change is happening in all areas of our lives and personalities. From the way we dress, the foods we like to eat, to the way we talk, to our careers, and to the people we choose to surround ourselves with – everything is constantly evolving around us and within us.

When life causes changes for us, we are forced to accept them and make peace with the new way things become. But when we choose to change ourselves, we are taking on an act of courage to say, “this is not who I want to be anymore.”  With every change we are declaring the end of one self, and a birth of a new self.

We will sometimes notices, there are people who will not like this. They will not be happy for us, they may criticize us, they may gossip, and they may even abandon us. This is all okay. We have to make the changes needed to reach the places we want to go in our lives.

This courage is vulnerability. Vulnerability to risk the questioning, risk the gossip, risk the criticism – and make the changes anyway. We will never look back on our time, and wish we had stayed the same… for even if we fail – we got the opportunity to live. True living is not just in existing. True living is taking risk, its pushing boundaries, its failing and getting back up, true living is in not giving up and in not staying the same. Today, we can all choose to walk in the vulnerability of change. We can all choose to really, and fully, live. Please share this with those you love. As always, thank you for sharing your time with me!