2 Things We Should Never Talk About #7daychallenge

Working in a small corporate office setting, you can’t help but listen in on people’s banter. Lots of small talk. Lots of time-filling conversation. Lots of complaining. Typical, I suppose. The office is the last place to drop into any meaningful substantial conversation. Listening to the same people for 40-50 hours a week can really give some insight into the average day-to-day minds of 2017 Urban America.

There are two things people love to talk about. The first thing people love to talk about is their complaints. Complaints about how hot it is in L.A. Complaints about all the traffic on their way to work. Complaints about Tuesday. Complaints about Wednesday. Complaints about their work load. Complaints about their work mates. Complaints about their lunch. Complaints about their weight. Complaints about their friends. Complaints about their enemies. Complaints about anything and everything you can possibly imagine.

I purposefully listened in on a 5 minute conversation someone was having outside my office door last week. 18 complaints from 2 women in 5 short minutes. What do you think? How often do you complain? Do you even realize you are complaining?

Most of us do not. Most of us have become so accustomed to complaints that they do not even register on our radar anymore. We are taught to express when something is bothering us. We are taught it is our constitutional right to express ourselves in all capacities. It absolutely is. But why are we so wasteful in using the power of language, the power of self-expression, the power of reason?

Sometimes a complaint is as simple as expressing a negative feeling or emotion. A common one, “I am so tired.” Guilty, right? Yes, we all are guilty of this one. Although it is natural to express our feelings and our thoughts, is it really necessary to vocalize all the same negative thoughts over and over without purpose? How many times in one week do we complain about being tired? Once a day? Twice a day? What are we creating for our minds with this type of expression?

The human mind is the most powerful machine known to man, with intricacies so complex we may never be able to replicate. When we speak negativity, we send signals that create specific pathways in the brain. The more signals you send down a given pathway, the more familiar the brain becomes with that path, and the more often you begin to direct to those negative emotions.

If you think pancakes taste delicious, you can decide to say so. When you say out loud that pancakes taste delicious, you make a declaration that confirms the “feeling” that pancakes taste delicious. Try it. You can literally“feel” the power of words. Thoughts naturally translate to speaking. Speaking translates to feelings. Feelings translate into our personal realities. When something “feels sad”, it becomes sad in our reality. If we can understand these patterns, we can break away from many of our feelings and self-imposed realities.

This means we must be clear on our thoughts and decide which thoughts are worthy of being vocalized. Challenge yourself to refrain from complaining for 7 days. You will immediately start seeing all of the complaining happening around you. You will become aware of how powerfully the negative energies of complaints travel. You will instinctively seek to remove yourself from the contamination of negative mind-space.

The more you stay away from complaints, from yourself and from others, the quicker your neurological pathways will reroute, and the happier you will feel. This is psychologically and scientifically guaranteed. Try it.

Now, the second thing people like to talk about, is other people. We have all read the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” To a general extent, this is true in my experience. When I am fortunate to share time with people of greatness, I notice they most often talk about ideas. Ideas for their careers, ideas for their community, ideas for their development. I also notice when I mix with my peers in social settings, we talk often about events. Past. Present. Future events. Old parties, past vacations, future gatherings, etc. I also can’t help but notice when I encounter “small minds” we often do shift to talking about other people.

I notice mostly when people talk about others who they do not know well. It is one thing to talk about family, to talk about significant others, even to talk about close friends. It is a vastly different thing to talk about a random person we follow on Facebook. Again, it serves us no purpose. Rarely, are such discussions of others positive. These discussions tend to be critical, with a sprinkle of judgment at best. What excitement is lacking in our lives that we resort to this type of conversation? Why not instead find a way to enrich our lives so we have something of substance to talk about!

Again, challenge yourself to not talk about others for 7 days. Challenge yourself not to gossip. Can you do that? You will notice, there is often very little left to discuss without the common gossip that has becomes so comfortable to us all. I invite you to elevate your mindset to higher ideas. Our time is more limited than we care to realize. Wasting time discussing other, being critical, being useless, does not serve us justice. We should strive to use our time to grow ourselves, grow our lives, grow our mindset.

The way we discipline our thoughts, use our language, and train our brains determines the degree of joy we experience in the day to day. Only we hold the power to change our mental health. Make the choice to improve the quality of your life. No one else can do it for us. We must take the action. We must make the change. Try these exercises I’ve suggested, challenge someone to do them with you. No complaints and no gossip - I would love to hear your feedback therafter! #7daychallenge